Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Blog You Saw Coming A Mile Away

This past weekend I saw the Ben Affleck bank heist film The Town and the first words I heard from the audience when the closing credits rolled was a guy 2 rows behind me saying “how predictable”. My first thought of response was “fuck you man, that movie was amazing” and my almost immediate second thought was that I didn’t agree, and even if I did, I didn’t care.

Of course that guy 2 rows back was a pretentious douchebag who had that statement planned and ready to spout probably before the movie even started, but it still got me thinking. I really hate when someone spoils the ending of a movie or tells me everything that happens. Let me figure it out on my own, but does it really matter if a movie is “predictable”? Does the movie completely suck if it goes down the way you thought it would? And really, aren’t all (or at least most) movies pretty predictable? Did you really think that the Titanic wasn’t gonna sink?

I’m a firm believer that it’s the journey and not the destination that makes a movie entertaining. I want to see a movie that has a good story, good characters, and good visuals, and as long as the complete package is satisfying I’m happy. An ending that comes completely out of left field may not be predictable, but it’s also not necessarily satisfying. I saw the indie film Catfish this weekend and all of the marketing (or lack there of) behind it was not showing too much and just promoting how unexpected the events of the third act were. This idea got me so pumped to see it. I couldn’t wait to see it and find out what was going to happen. So I went, and the first 2/3 of the movie were pretty enjoyable and interesting, and it was going down a path of complete uncertainty. But then it got to the reveal, and although I would have never predicted it in a million years, I was beyond disappointed. For me, it just goes to show that different does not automatically mean good.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are sometimes when unpredictable can mean completely awesome for a film. An ending that comes as a complete surprise, but still makes sense, is a rare but amazing thing. The last five minutes of The Mist I would’ve never have guessed, but it went along with the social commentary of the rest of the film and how quick we are to take the “easy way out” and jump to insane conclusions in intense situations, not to mention that it ensured the movie would be talked about years after its release. David Fincher’s Se7en is another prime example of an unpredictable ending in cinema. Not only did most not really expect it to happen (even though they’ll tell you they saw it coming to impress you), it made the movie what it is, the go to guide on how to make an amazing crime drama.

At the end of the day, a good movie is a good movie, regardless if I figured out every little twist and turn before it happened or not. What are your thoughts? Does knowing what’s going to happen in a movie effect how much you enjoy the movie?

Monday, July 26, 2010

Punisher War Journal: The Blog File

Frank thinking he's getting too old for this shit.

So this weekend at the San Diego Comic Con (which I sadly did not attend) Marvel announced that they are yet again going to reboot the Punisher film franchise. This will now be the fourth time an attempt has been made to make a movie based on the violent vigilante. The first time was in 1989 with a Dolph Lundgren, followed by Thomas Jane in 2004, and finally (and unfortunately) in 2008 with Ray Setevenson. All three films were far from box office success stories. The upcoming film will be made directly by Marvel who now has complete creative control over the film version of Frank Castle.

I read this news and was actually kind of intrigued. I’m all for Marvel trying again after the last 3 didn’t work. Keep doing it until you get it right I guess. I only have one question: Why hasn’t a good Punisher movie been made?

It’s not like the character is all that complex. Former soldier turned family man Frank Castle’s wife and kids get killed by the mob and he flips out, taking all of his training and exacting vengeance on the criminal underworld of New York with a skull painted on his shirt, and that’s about it. Yet they still find ways to mess it up.

Dolph Lundgren was completely flat in a cheesy direct to video version. Thomas Jane was a great Punisher, but everyone and everything else around him was weak. The Punisher in Florida? Come on. And Ray Stevenson was barely given any lines in Punisher: War Zone, which felt more like a slasher movie than a comic book/action film.

If Marvel wants to do it right they need to get a leading man who can capture the brooding anger and intensity of the Punisher. This guy is a tortured soul to the nth degree and has the training and tools to turn that torture on his enemies. He’s not a traditional super-hero and the film makers that take on the project should be aware of that and should sample ideas and the tone from movies like Taxi Driver and Man on Fire rather than Spider-Man. The Punisher is killing mobsters and common criminals in back alleys, not super villains on roof tops. Frank Castle is more like Travis Bickle than Peter Parker. Movies like the original Mad Max, Death Wish, and even Gran Torino have way more in common with what a Punisher movie should be like than X-Men, Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk.

In a perfect world, Martin Scorsese or Tony Scott would be directing this new Punisher movie and they would get a credible actor who could approach the character with the mental, physical, and emotional devotion that he deserves. Like I said, I’m intrigued, but something tells me I should prepare for a fourth disappointment.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Everyone’s got one. That one movie that they love so much and watch again and again, but everyone else can’t stand and didn’t even turn a profit at the box office. You might not share to the world that you dig it, but as soon as you get home you pop in the DVD (because it hasn’t done well enough to get a blu-ray release yet) and you end your day with a smile on your face.

There are also the types of people that fight for their flops. They stand up for them and will get in heated discussions that make the Friday night party at your friend’s house either extremely awkward or 10 times more awesome. Every flaw that audiences and critics point out is shot down with justifications and explanations and they will not rest until your opinion is identical to theirs.

I’d say I’m a mix of the two sides. I can totally admit a movie is complete crap, but still enjoy it, but there are some movies that get ripped on that I believe are far better than most people think and wish more people would give it a second, deeper, look at.

Some examples of ‘flops’ I stand by are:

The Fountain

Darren Aronofsky’s science fiction love story that spans 1,000 years didn’t even make 1/3 of its production budget back, and it’s not necessarily a surprise. The storytelling relies the viewer to decipher a lot of things on their own and its beautiful but extremely unconventional styling of the future and space travel would leave the mass movie going public scratching their heads. I’m not calling general audiences dumb, but I do notice that a sequel to Baby Geniuses got made. But what people who haven’t seen this are missing is one of the most original films of the decade with a heart breaking love story and visuals that rival sci-fi classics. Clint Mansell’s wonderful score take this film to an even higher place and is worth listening to as its own masterpiece.


I can still hear all the fanboys whining that Keanu Reeves wasn’t blonde, British, or in a brown coat. But let’s not forget that in the comics The Joker does not have a Glasgow grin scar, Spider-Man doesn’t have organic web shooters, and the X-men didn’t wear black jump suits, and all those movies were pretty well received. I’ve only read a handful of the John Constantine: Hellblazer comics and thought they were ok, but I thought Francis Lawrence’s directorial debut based on the DC/Vertigo comic was amazing. It had sleek Blade Runner-esque look, some interesting takes on Heaven, Hell, demons, and angels, and was just a fun time on top of that. Keanu Reeves portrayal as a rogue exorcist who knows Heaven exists, but guaranteed to go to Hell was honestly one of his strongest performances and shows he can carry a movie without saying “woah”. All that along with Rachel Weisz looking her best and Peter Stormare in the most unique take on Lucifer make this a movie I watch again and again.

Halloween II

Most agree that Rob Zombie’s Batman Begins origin approach to his Halloween remake was pretty good. Unfortunately, most also agree that his sequel was horrible. I’m gonna have to disagree. Zombie’s original remake of the classic slasher was great, but I thought his follow up in Halloween II was nothing short of brilliant. Scout Taylor-Compton’s performance as Laurie Strode made me really believe these events happened and this girl was truly tormented and the character of Michael Myers actually had just that, character. Most saw the return of Sheri Moon-Zombie in the ‘white horse’ scenes as a bit too supernatural and out of place for the franchise, but I saw a unique psychological view of the Myers family and gave more insight and emotional weight to Michael Myers. Overall what did it for me was Zombie’s complete lack of fear in making this movie. He wasn’t afraid to completely turn the franchise on its head, try new things, and take it in a darker, more serious direction than any other slasher movie, even if it meant losing some fans in the process.

Those are just some of mine. I could do about 10 more blogs on movies of this nature, and maybe I will down the road. Leave a comment below with your favorite flops and why you think they deserve more credit.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

This Just In 7/10/09

Hulk angry because Hulk not know who play him in movie. RARRRRR!

Marvel has just announced that they plan to find a new 'name' actor to play Bruce Banner/The Hulk in the upcoming Avengers movie rather than bring back Edward Norton. Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige issued the following statement:

"We have made the decision to not bring Ed Norton back to portray the title role of Bruce Banner in the Avengers. Our decision is definitely not one based on monetary factors, but instead rooted in the need for an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members. The Avengers demands players who thrive working as part of an ensemble, as evidenced by Robert, Chris H, Chris E, Sam, Scarlett, and all of our talented casts. We are looking to announce a name actor who fulfills these requirements, and is passionate about the iconic role in the coming weeks."

First off, that's kind of a low blow/attack on Edward Norton and just a douche way of saying it. Edward Norton is a good actor and I feel this statement is implying he's garbage. You don't want to bring him back, whatever, you don't have to mudsling. Unprofessional sir.

Second, it's not over money? I don't believe you. Marvel is notorious for low balling their actors when it comes to pay. It was rumored that's why Terrance Howard didn't come back for Iron Man 2 and why Sam Jackson almost didn't come back to play Nick Fury. Even Chris Evans was rumored to be paid only $500,000 for Captain America. Norton's a higher up actor who's not past his prime, so I think money had at least a little to do with it.

So you're short a guy for your ensemble movie you're leading up to with all of your other movies. What are you gonna do now? Bring Eric Bana back? That'll piss off even more fanboys. You want a 'name' actor? It'll be interested to hear their choice.

One article I read on the matter made a suggestion that I found to be brilliant and probably the only one that would make this nerd remotely happy. The name they gave was

Sharlto Copely

Maybe not an obvious choice to some, but the District 9 star has got more than what it takes for this role. His physical appearance isn't drastically different than Norton's from the last Hulk movie (not as drastic as the difference between Don Cheadle and Terrance Howard anyway), he's got some star power steam going with District 9 and the A-Team both being well received, and the guy has proven he can act. Even the A-Team was an ensemble/team cast so Marvel can already see he's good in that environment.

Although idealy I would rather see Norton return to the lab coat of Bruce Banner, this is an excellent second choice that wouldn't take me out of the Avengers movie that has about as much going for it as it does working against it at this point.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


So this weekend I went down to my local theater and checked out the big movie released this weekend (Sex and the City doesn’t count ‘cause I’m a guy and it’s crap) Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. I went into it with uncertain expectations. It had a few negative points for me going in. For starters, it’s based on a video game, a sub-genre that is synonymous with terrible reviews that are typically accurate. There’s also the fact that the ads keep pushing the fact that it’s from the studio and producer of Pirates of the Caribbean films a franchise I personally found to be overrated, dragged out, and frankly just not that good.

On the positive side, I find Jake Gyllenhaal to be an under rated actor and the director Mike Newell is the director of the only Harry Potter movie I’ve watched more than once. All of that and the fact that newcomer Gemma Arterton is amazingly good looking made me think it was worth a shot. So what did I think when the house lights came up?

I absolutely LOVED it!

From start to finish, I found Prince of Persia to be completely entertaining. The visuals were continuously strong, the story was simple but held my attention, and all of the performances were great. Now, I’m not saying this movie was Oscar caliber, insanely original, or extremely deep and thought provoking. I’m just saying that it was an extremely satisfying way to sit back, relax, and spend two hours of my weekend, which is what summer movies should be…unless you’re The Dark Knight and then you can be fun and deep all at once.

So the awesomeness that this movie brought raised one major question: Why aren’t all video game movies this good?

Nearly every movie that’s been based off of a video game has been bad, if not completely awful. Sure, the Resident Evil movies made money, but let’s be honest nerds, they are nothing special. I can watch the first Mortal Kombat movie, but I’m completely aware of its huge plot holes. Then there are the ones like Super Mario Bors. Wing Commander, Double Dragon, House of the Dead, and all the other ones Uwe Boll directed that are just atrocious and a waste of time. It seems Prince of Persia is alone with the exception of Silent Hill in the good video game adaptation category.

What makes it worse is that it doesn’t have to be this way. There are plenty of video games that have amazing visuals that would look fantastic on the big screen. Some of them even have decent story lines, and the ones that don’t, just leave that much more room for the filmmakers to thicken it out. Street Fighter has had not one, but two, horrible cinematic interpretations, despite its simple yet effective story and the colorful characters in it. Super Mario is one of the most well known characters in the world, but Hollywood thought it’d be smart the take all the things familiar and recognizable from the game and change it so audiences would scratch their heads and wonder what the hell they just watched.

The bottom line is, Hollywood needs to pull their heads out of their asses in the video game movie area. Video games are huge business, and so are movies. I don’t really see why video game movies can’t have the same success as comic book movies. They just need to spend the time and get decent writers and more decent directors to take them on and we’ll have more awesome adaptations like Prince of Persia.

I could be wrong of course. I read the weekend reports, and it looks like, despite being the most entertaining movie so far this year, Prince of Pearsia: The Sands of Time isn’t fairing that well at the box office.

Friday, May 28, 2010


I love movie trailers. Whenever I go see a movie at the theater, I have to get there early to watch the previews of coming attractions. It’s exciting and entertaining to see short clips of movies you haven’t seen yet put together as a 30 second to 3 minute presentation to wet your appetite and count the days until you can see the whole thing. If I had any time of behind the scenes job in the film industry, I would want to be a trailer editor.

The problem with today’s trailers is that they tend to ruin the surprise and excitement of the film they’re promoting with either too much info, or too many different clips that make the final product less interesting.

Nowadays we typically get 3 main trailers:

1. The Teaser Trailer-The initial trailer to announce the release of the film. Teaser trailers will typically have very little footage and usually run less than a minute.

2. The Second Trailer-The first full trailer that shows a bit of footage and reveals a bit more of the plot of the movie. These trailers are usually 2-3 minutes.

3. The Final Trailer-The last trailer released before the movie opens. Not every movie has a third trailer, but if they do, they offer even more footage and insight to the story and run around 3 minutes long.

Along with that we get the 3-12 TV spots with a mix of new footage and shots we’ve seen in the three theatrical trailers, full scenes online, and a few sneak peeks so by the time we actually see the movie we are either tired of it from all the promotion or significantly less interested because of all the spoilers the various trailers have given us.

Now I get that the studios and film makers need and want to show footage of their movie to promote and hopefully turn a decent profit, I enjoy it in fact. I just don’t think we need to see every major aspect of the movie before we see it in its entirety. Leave some surprises in there.

Some examples of trailers ruining some awesome “holy shit you’ve gotta see this movie” moments are right here.

Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace

Let’s save all the shit talking on this movie for a later blog. My real problem is this: the teaser trailer gives away Darth Maul’s face and his double edged lightsabre. There’s plenty of shots in the movie where Maul (the coolest part of this movie and an extremely under used character) is only using one beam of his lightsabre and has a large black hood covering his crazy tattooed face. If that stuff had been saved for the actual first viewing of the entire movie, maybe people would be talking about how awesome Darth Maul was instead of how bad Jar Jar and Anakin were.

Terminator Salvation

The promotional campaign of this movie started out so strong. A short but extremely powerful teaser trailer with more of Christian Bales post apocalyptic voice over than actual footage got me so pumped, but the second and third trailers, although well made, completely ruined the surprise that Sam Worthington was a Terminator, which was such a huge point of the movie. Half the movie Sam’s character Marcus is a fish out of water, and it isn’t until a little over halfway through his journey that he realizes what he really is. If the trailer didn’t blow that for you, you probably would’ve related to the character more and gone on that journey with him and the movie would’ve gotten shit on a bit less.

I’m not saying stop putting out trailers. I just think Hollywood needs to use a little less of their final product in those trailers. You remember the first teaser for The Dark Knight? There was literally no footage in that. Christopher Nolan’s upcoming movie Inception has 3 trailers and most everyone still can’t figure out what’s going on. More movies need to start that way and maybe make the more revealing footage optional like putting it online rather than all over the TV. I wanna be shocked and surprised when I see a movie for the first time, not bored and spoiled.

Leave a comment with your thoughts on teasers and trailers.

Friday, May 7, 2010


We are currently in the era where comic book movies can be good, and comic book movie sequels are even better. Even the well deserved winner of the best supporting actor oscar went to an actor who was playing a villain in a sequel to a comic book a little over a year ago.

Unfortunately we are also in the era where comic book movies are often rushed or poorly written and thus not nearly as good as they could’ve been. You’ll get something amazing like The Dark Knight, and then you’ll get Punisher: War Zone. You’ll get Sin City, and then Spider-Man 3. You’ll get Iron Man, and then Fantastic Four. You get the idea.

But where does that leave Iron Man 2…?

Jon Favreau did an amazing job bringing Shell head to life in the first Iron Man and Robert Downey Jr., along with the entire supporting cast, performed brilliantly and really made the characters pop. Iron Man 2 saw all of them return (except Terrance Howard of course) so really this sequel seems like a sure thing.

Well what seemed like a sure thing turned out to be a flat, dragged out, and uneven mess. There were far too many times I found myself sighing in boredom as the scenes seem to lag with uninteresting dialogue that never seemed to capture the witty banter of the first film. I went into a movie called “Iron Man 2” but what I got was a movie that spent a lot more time with Tony Stark, but never really doing anything with that time to hold my interest. The action scenes were few and far between, felt kind of generic, and in the case of the house party fight between Iron Man and a pre-gunned out War Machine, totally unnecessary and kind of obnoxious.

Overall the actors in Iron Man 2 didn’t ruin the movie, the just didn’t have a good script to work with. They all looked good, but all the dialogue was bland and uninspired and it never felt like the movie was ever going exactly where it wanted to actually end up. Gwyneth Paltrow performed fine as Pepper Potts, but her cutness and sassiness from the first film seemed to be replaced with bitching and whining and Scarlett Johansson can sure fill out the Black Widow suit, but her interaction with every character that wasn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent felt forced and unnatural. I love Don Cheadle as an actor, but he felt very out of place in this film and was so different than Terrance Howard that I found myself doubting that they were the same character at all. The friendship/Conflict between Tony Stark and Cheadle’s Rhodey took what worked in the first film and covered it with cheese. Their scene of resolution right before the big action finale that seemed longer in the trailer felt more like an episode of Full House than the sci-fi action film you would want to watch.

Mickey Rourke was his usual total bad ass self, but with only two rushed action scenes, he even looked bored with his character’s lack of movement. Sam Rockwell is a fantastic actor, but he never quite nails it here, but it’s obvious screenwriter Justin Theroux is not sure of anything with anything about Iron Man 2. He gets close a time or two, but no cigar.

Then of course there’s the easter eggs of the Marvel Universe. I’m all for Marvel putting all their films into one universe like their comics, but they can’t seem to figure out in Iron Man 2 if that’s the main focus or not. If it is, then it’s brought in way too late in the film, and if it’s not, they spend way too much time on it. Nick Fury and Agent Coulson are cool characters that will keep me invested in these movies, just figure out how you wanna use them and stick with it.

In conclusion, I didn’t completely hate Iron Man 2, but it is pure evidence that even if you have a director and cast that are experts at their craft, you still can’t make a bad script a good movie. Maybe if they had a 3 year gap between movies instead of two, Iron Man 2 would have more in common with The Dark Knight and less in common with Transformers 2.

And what was the deal with Tony and the strawberries? Pointless.

Saturday, May 1, 2010


(note: If you haven’t read Part 1 of this blog go back and do so as this won’t make sense otherwise.)

Jared Leto as Matt Murdock/Daredevil

Sure he’s the singer/songwriter/guitarist of one of my favorite bands, but that’s completely unrelated. He’s a good actor and has proven so in such films as Requiem for a Dream and American Psycho, and has shown a Christian Bale like physical dedication in Chapter 27. His leading man good looks will ensure the female crowd shows up and his built but slender physique will accurately fill the suit to keep the fanboys happy. And as much shit as it got, the armored black DD costume from the '90s would look really cool as the live action interpretation of the costume.

Jason Statham as Bullseye

If the picture comparison wasn’t convincing enough, his over all bad assery should be. Before the guy was an action star in the Crank and Transporter films, he was an Olympic diver and world class martial artist making him the ideal choice for the marksmen bad guy. One major suggestion from me would be to make him actually wear his trademark costume in the movie as it is one of the most badass comic book costumes and will look way cooler than Collin Ferrel’s trench coat.

Ben Kingsly as Wilson Fisk/Kingpin

Now he may not be the 100% physical match for the rotund crime boss, but hay, neither was Michael Clarke Duncan. But what Kingsly lacks in ginormousness, he makes up for in sinisterness. It’s easy to picture him being a “businessman” who could kick a lot of ass, and he’s practically played the part before in movies like Sexy Beast and Lucky Number Slevin.

Mark Ruffalo as Foggy Nelson

One of the most under rated actors out there, Mark Ruffalo has got all the chops to steal the show in the role of Matt Murdock’s best friend and law partner. His quarky role in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind shows he’s got the nerdy humor end of the character while his performance in Zodiac proves he can keep Foggy real, level, and in a bow tie!

Gemma Arterton as Elektra

Jennifer Garner was a bit too cute and innocent to play the brutally vicious assassin who stole and destroyed the heart of the man without fear. Gemma Arterton doesn’t seem to have that, but instead has the intensity and sexuality that Elektra needs. She’s already taken on action oriented parts in Clash of the Titans and the upcoming Prince of Persia movie so being the villainous love interest of DD would be a logical step and an opportunity for her to show off more of her acting skills.

Zooey Deschanel as Karen Page

Matt Murdock’s law firm assistant who eventually becomes his main squeeze is a classy girl who is accessibly sexy, but with a dark past hiding deep underneath. Zooey Deschanel is more than capable to breathe life into this small role that would eventually be the central focus of one of the most important moments in Daredevil’s history.

And at the Director’s chair: David Fincher

A perfect choice to direct any movie, Fincher’s style lends itself to comic books and Daredevil especially. The way he likes to put the camera through the holes in the wall and the cracks in the floor in movies like Fight Club and Panic Room would work beautifully to visually display Daredevil’s heightened senses and I can’t even begin to think of what he would do for DD’s radar sense. It’s obvious he can handle intense crime drama without repeating himself with the extremely different but equally impressive films Seven and Zodiac. Fincher needs to make this movie.

There you have it, now if only the people actually making the film would listen.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Blog Without Fear Part 1

Most people that know me know that my favorite comic book character is Batman. What a lot of people may not realize is that one of my other favorites is Daredevil. Most of the time when I mention this people give me a dirty look and reference the 2003 movie starring Ben Affleck. Despite its massive flaws, I don’t hate that movie like everyone else. The best way I can describe my feelings on it is that it’s like being in your first band and putting out your first record: It may not be good, but it’s still pretty cool that it got made.

Regardless of one bad movie, the Daredevil comic is the most consistently well written comic out there, even more so than the Dark Knight himself. I don’t think I’ve ever read a flat out bad DD book. So many big name writers have done their best work on Daredevil including Frank Millar, Kevin Smith, Brian Michael Bendis, and Ed Brubaker. With typically more of a crime drama feel than a super hero funny book, the man without fear’s ulter ego, Matt Murdock, is many times just as captivating out of tights as he is in them on the streets of hell’s kitchen. His casts of supporting characters are real people. His issues aren’t just of a super hero nature. More often than not his romantic and personal life is in shambles. Even his super powers don’t seem that far from reality. Just go pick up any DD book ‘cause it’s gonna be good.

20th Century Fox recently announced their plans to reboot the Daredevil movie franchise with a script by David Scarpa (the day the earth stood still remake). Reports reveal that their goal with the relaunch is to make a darker and more grounded film similar in tone to Christopher Nolan’s Batman films, which is exactly the direction they need to take. That and some tips from Law & Order for the courtroom scenes with Matt Murdock and law partner Foggy Nelson.

They have a screenwriter locked in. Great! But who’s gonna direct it? Who’s gonna put on the red tights? Who else is gonna jump on this and show the world that Daredevil is way cooler than a Bennifer 2.0 movie? What names do I wanna see on the poster?

Find out next blog!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Kick-Ass? More like Suck-Ass!

So Kick-Ass opened this weekend. Based on the comic book by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr. that I didn’t read for some reason despite Millar’s The Ultimates being one of my favorite comics of all time, the movie has been getting rave reviews from critics and audiences alike. My thoughts of the film however will not quite fall into place with the rest of them.

I wasn’t as excited as everyone else was in the first place about Kick-Ass. It seemed from the moment the first trailer hit, people were talking it up like it was gonna be the next big thing. I thought it looked fun, but was doubtful it would be on my top ten list of films for the year. When going to the theatre last night with my girlfriend I mentioned my hopes that my low expectations, along with my love for Mark Millar’s other work in comics, would allow me to come out pleasantly surprised. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case.

I didn’t flat out hate the movie. There was actually plenty to enjoy about it. The fight scenes were well choreographed and shot (something the Jason Bourne people need to take note of), the humor was clever, and the performances were great, including the best performance from Nicolas Cage since I don’t know when.

Despite all these positives, I had a lot of issues with Kick-Ass, the main problem being it’s over all inconsistency. When it was great it was great, but the times in between were so bland and seemed to take up way more time than the exciting moments. Aaron Johnson was amicable as the titular hero, but the character itself wasn’t that interesting. I get that he was supposed to be an over all Peter Parker/Spider-Man homage, but he was so similar that it just felt like a cheap knock off rather than a tip of the cap. If I wanted to watch Spider-Man, I’d watch Spider-Man.

Chloe Mortez was flawless as Hit Girl and Nicolas Cage stole the show as Big Daddy, but there just weren’t enough of either them. Sure the movie should have been called “Hit Girl Kicks Ass”, but I wanted to see more of the banter between the two anti heroes. Their back story that was summed up in five seconds in a comic/animated sequence was more interesting that the main character’s that took most of the movie. Take the interesting characters like Hit Girl and Big Daddy, and give them more to do and maybe give less to the flat and bland characters like McLovin’s Red Mist.

The whole concept behind Kick-Ass is what it would be like if real, average, every day people put on costumes and became super heroes. This theme is kept through most of the movie until it gets completely tossed out the window for the big finale action scene that made me almost want to walk out. If you, the film makers, can’t stick to your point, than why should I stick through watching it. You completely contradicted yourself for a lousy attempt at a bigger action scene. No good.

Like I said, not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, just nowhere near the awesomness that people are making it out to be. If Hit Girl gets a spin off movie I will be first in line, but I don’t think I’ll be in any rush for a Kick-Ass 2.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Avengers Assemble!

Today when I was checking my nerd websites for the latest in fandom I read an article that said Joss Whedon is in talks to direct the Avengers movie. The Marvel Studios movie is already set to star Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and with any luck Edward Norton as Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and the Hulk respectively. Most fanboys were ruining their pants in excitement over this news as Whedon has already made a name for himself in the nerd world with his creations of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse, Firefly, and Serenity as well as his fantastic run on the Astonishing X-Men comic series. At one point he was even working on the script for the Wonder Woman movie that is now in development hell over at DC/Warner Brothers.

This seems like an amazing idea and a good choice on Marvel’s part. The guy gets comics, and more importantly, teams of characters. The show is called Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but it was a group effort of Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, and all the other supportive characters. I have yet to watch it, but Firefly seemed to be more about a group of space pirates than a singular hero. And let’s not forget Marvel’s other superhero team. Joss Whedon’s run on Astonishing X-Men in this nerd’s opinion was the best arc of the series in a long long time. He was also one of the many people to take a crack at an X-Men movie script before it hit theatres in 2000. Sadly, the only line from his script that made it into the final film was the line that nearly ruined the whole movie. “Do you know what happens to a toad when it’s struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.” Awful. Just awful. But that’s what you get from a guy who got his start writing episodes of Rosanne.

Crappy lines aside, I think Joss Whedon will bring an interesting touch to a movie that already had a lot of potential. I’m not sold on Chris Evans as Cap, but at least he’s not Channing Tatum or Paul Walker, and I’m hopeful for some good banter between him and Robert Downey Jr’s Tony Stark. It sounds like things are looking up for Edward Norton to return to the role of Bruce Banner and Don Cheadle, Samuel L Jackson, and Scarlett Johansson are all expected to come in from the Iron Man franchise, giving the Avengers even more star power. Even if all that doesn’t work out, Downey could probably carry the movie on his own given his current winning streak. But Marvel has been mapping out all of their self produced movies to lead up to this, and considering the quality of what they’ve produced so far, this should be at the very least an entertaining popcorn flick.

Eh, who am I kidding? I’ll love it either way.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


I’m a nerd. I love comic books, action figures, cartoons, and all the stuff about movies that the average movie goer has no idea about. At the same time, nearly everyone I’ve ever met, at one time or another has come to me with a question, comment, or concern about something in the realm of nerdiness. Whether it’s my opinion of who’s been cast as Captain America, what I know about the next Batman Movie, or who directed Halloween II, I seem to be the most useful to my friends when it comes to dorky trivia. So really, I’m a nerd, but I’m pretty cool ‘cause I know the silly, stupid junk you don’t. Thus I am THE COOLEST NERD YOU KNOW!!!.

This blog will be about all the stuff I think matters in the world, leaving boring stuff like politics, relationships, and world issues at the door (that’s a joke kids!). Expect subject matter such as: Upcoming movies that everyone will be talking about, movies from 5 years ago that no one saw but me, classic comics that you should read, my favorite band putting out a new album, and anything else I feel like jabbering about.

On a back the fuck off because it’s just a blog note: I will not be the least bit concerned if my grammar is correct, or if the writing is in any type of proper format, or if you the reader find my opinion’s flawed or uninformed. It’s for fun and nothing more and if critiquing or criticizing any of those is your reason for reading this then I suggest you stop reading right now.

This is just a warni…I mean taste of things to come. Keep checking back for more.