The Blog That's Not As Bad As They Say

DC’s first non Superman/Batman super hero movie Green Lantern came out this weekend making a lower than expected $52 million. Most are blaming the large amount of negative reviews for keeping it from becoming a major hit. But are all these negative reviews justified?

I have only recently started reading the Green Lantern comic but I got hooked pretty quick and thus, was rather excited for the movie. Of course before the film even got released, several critics were slaughtering the movie, calling it the biggest disappointment of the summer. I for one am not a guy who let’s critics decide weather I go see a movie or not, but after 30+ reviews giving it a lousy 20% rating on rotten tomatoes, I was a little worried.

Even with those doubts, I still went the the Thursday midnight showing of Green Lantern with all the other nerds, and while I was fairly disappointed in the movie, I didn’t find it to be the worst movie ever made everyone else was saying. I almost feel that critics and fanboys views of good and bad movies leave no room for middle ground. If it isn’t The Dark Knight, then it must be Howard the Duck. Can’t a movie just be good and not great? Sure I was hoping for a little more out of a Green Lantern movie, but it could’ve been a lot worse, and it wasn’t awful enough for me to come out of the theater enraged by what I had just seen.

At the end of the day, I would love it if every movie I saw was the greatest movie I’ve ever seen, but I can’t complain too much if a movie is still entertaining when it’s less than perfect.

The Blog From Childhood

The summer movie season has started, and it looks like yet again comic books and other pre-established properties are the most hyped, and most likely to make money. Now I get why the studios and the public go for these films. These films have a built in fan base, and thus, built in money. But I am surprised that certain other properties from my childhood are not being taken to the multiplex where they can bring in fans both new and old. Here are some of my top pics of old properties that need a cinematic treatment.


DINO RIDERS
Jurrassic park came out in 1993 and the effects in that movie still hold up, so it blows my mind that this 80’s toy line/cartoon series that had humanoid aliens fighting on dinosaurs equipped with futuristic weaponry didn’t get made shortly after. A Dino Riders movie seems like it would be an easy sell to Hollywood. Dinosaurs with laser guns! Done.


VOLTRON
There’s been a Voltron movie in the early stages for the past couple years, so hopefully this one comes true sooner rather than later. If you go back and watch the old show about a team who pilot giant robot lions that connect to become an even bigger robot, you’ll see that every episode is the same. The bad guys come, they try to fight them separately, and then they just form Voltron and take the bad guys down. A Voltron movie plot would follow this pattern pretty closely, just hopefully with a bit more depth.


MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
The 1987 Masters of the Universe movie starring Dolph Lundgren as He-Man and Frank Langella as Skeletor was the first movie I saw in the theater so I’m a little partial, but most saw it as a failure that didn’t stay true to its cartoon and action figure roots. Right now would be the perfect time to make a sweet movie that would make everyone forget about the old one with the current craze of the new Masters of the Universe Classics action figures selling out every month online. Build a movie universe on the same scale and scope of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars, map out the franchise before you start so a trilogy doesn’t just get made as a cash cow, and ‘80s nerds and plenty of others will flock to the theaters.

What other classic properties do you think should be made into big budget blockbusters?

The Blog That Happened Way Back When

X-Men: First Class came out this weekend and everyone’s been asking me what I thought of it and I haven’t quite found the appropriate response. On one hand I was pretty entertained throughout and felt it had strong performances by both Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy, but on the other hand I found myself really irritated at all the direct references to the previous films, and then certain situations and plot points that don’t line up in any way shape or form to the same films. This was my issue with the film, and maybe my issue with prequels in general.

Prequels are meant to be an earlier story of familiar characters that show them how they were before and how they came to be the characters we’ve come to know and love. That pretty much means that a prequel has to end in a very specific way or it doesn’t work. You can start a lot of different ways, but you have to end the film in a way that allows the original films to pick up after and make sense. If you don’t line it up that way, then what’s the point of doing a prequel? If you want to change everything, why not reboot it from scratch. That’s what Christopher Nolan did with Batman Begins and it worked great. It’s a little sad that I can honestly say that the best made prequel movie in terms of continuity is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning.

X-Men: First Class suffered from these issues of being a prequel. The writers and director had an entertaining and interesting story of the early years of several X-Men characters but I felt like they weren’t too concerned with lining up their film with the others and being one continuous story unless it was for a quick chuckle or point for nerds to freak out. I say if you aren’t concerned with lining up, then don’t, that’s great but make your own movie and do your own thing, but don’t throw in settings, situations, and cameos that say you are part of the same universe ‘cause then it just doesn’t make any sense, and it kinda ruins it for nerds like me.

The Blog About One Picture

Back in 2007 we got to see the 3rd film in director Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man film franchise. The previous two installments were both critical and commercial hits, while part 3 made more than enough money, most found it to be a big let down that was lacking in story, and sloppy in execution.

Even though many were not totally thrilled with Spider-Man 3, news came quickly that Raimi was still going to work on another installment with Tobey Maguire and a rumored villain in John Malkovich as the Vulture. But almost immediately following these rumors and reports, Sony announced completely out of left field that they would no longer be persuing a 4th Spidey film with Raimi due to the typical Hollywood “creative differences” and instead launch a complete franchise reboot with (500) Days of Summer director Mark Webb at the helm.

Now I get things not working out with a director and wanting to try something new, but when Bryan Singer left X-Men, they didn’t start all over. When Tim Burton left Batman, they got someone else and kept it going, and those were a bit worse than Spider-Man 3. Spider-Man 3 made plenty of money despite some bad reviews so there was no real reason to start from the beginning like it was a flop.

But the decision was made. Screenwriter James Vanderbilt’s original script for Spider-Man 4 was going to be reworked into an all new origin story for Peter Parker and Andrew Garfield (pre Social Network) would be plucked from obscurity and become the new Spider-Man.

So despite a little bump in the road, a new Spider-Man movie was happening and things began moving fast. But the fans didn’t seem happy. Most message boards and other nerdy outlets were filled with comments of unhappiness and criticizing a movie that they haven’t even seen yet.

I haven’t seen the movie either, and although I was a little skeptical of the whole idea of rebooting what many call one of the greatest franchises in comic book/movie history, I was also excited to see what they would do with it. Mark Webb has proven himself to be a talented director who focuses a lot on character while not forgetting the visuals and Andrew Garfield certainly looks the part and now after seeing The Social network, I’m confident he can play the part.

Then, a few days ago the first official image of Garfield in the Spidey-suit hit the internet. Some fans are still saying no thanks to this reboot, but that image sealed the deal for me. I’m pumped to see a new take on the web-head that is just as true to the comics, but isn’t a 2nd rate attempt at the franchise. The suit looks like a fantastic mix of comic accuracy and urban realism. If you look closely at the wrist, you can see that the creative team opted for the mechanical web shooters from the comic books rather than Raimi’s organic ones. It’s only one image, but it proved (to me anyways) that these guys know what came before and totally respect it, but they also have no desire to repeat it. I’m gonna welcome this movie with open arms, and hopefully I won’t come out of the theater in the summer of 2012 disappointed.

The Blog That You’ve Read Before

For the past few years we’ve seen a steady increase in remakes at the movies. James Cameron’s Avatar and Christopher Nolan’s Inception are about the only 2 movies in recent history that have made huge numbers at the box office that aren’t based on a previous film, comic book, or any other pre-existing property. A lot of people complain about the lack of originality in the movies and question weather or not Hollywood is out of ideas.

Now I can agree with the fact that we’re running a little low on complete originality at the cinema, but I don’t believe remakes are completely worthless. I’m always interested to see a new take on an old favorite. It’s fun to see a different film maker’s take on a familiar subject and with the advances of technology and visual effects it can be exciting to see how a classic film would look with today’s resources.

I even think there are certain films from yesteryear that could benefit from a remake. One’s that had great visuals but didn’t have the budget to fully realize them. One’s with epic stories, but no thoughts of a franchise that would eventually (and unfortunately) come. Here’s a few movies that if remade with the right group of people, could be amazing.


Road House

To many, this action classic falls in the “so bad it’s good” category. I’m inclined to agree with them, but I also saw it as a franchise that never was. Patrick Swayze’s Dalton could have easily been the American counterpart to James Bond. Every movie Dalton goes to a new bar, with a new chick, and a new bad guy to take down. Its biggest obstacle as a remake is that most probably couldn’t see anyone filling Swayze’s shoes in the role of the bouncer who’s nice…until it’s time to not be nice.


Highlander

This franchise of a swashbuckling immortal clansman is the constant subject of parody these days and I’m a firm believer that most of that is thanks to the sequels that make absolutely no sense. The original Highlander as a stand alone film I still say is an epic classic with it’s biggest flaw being (spoiler alert) that it completely ended the story, leaving no logical opening for a future installments. This is of course why we get a Highlander 2 where the immortals turn out to be aliens in the future, and a third installment that completely denies the second’s existence, and a few more after that are practically unwatchable. When the remake finally gets moving (and it will), hopefully the film makers involved will lay out the story with plans of a franchise. I personally think it would be amazing to see a trilogy filmed back to back Lord of the Rings style and have each film set in a different time period and shot by a different director. Tell me that wouldn’t be awesome!


Hellraiser

The first two (of what a billion now) Hellraiser films are still pretty good by today’s standards in the make up and gore department. But now that so many horror movies are going the Batman Begins route and diving deeper into the psychological and character end of their killers, I’d say it’s time Pinhead came back to the big screen and give all the people who like the lackluster Saw franchise something to really be afraid of. I say get someone like Hugo Weaving to play pinhead and make his journey from man to cenobite the main story arc, and leave the sequels to expand that along with the originals tale of a broken families handling of the mysterious puzzle box. The rumor is Dimension Films has a director attached and a script that will be more teen focused with a PG-13 rating. i.e. It will suck big time.

What other classics do you think need to be remade?

The Blog You Saw Coming A Mile Away

This past weekend I saw the Ben Affleck bank heist film The Town and the first words I heard from the audience when the closing credits rolled was a guy 2 rows behind me saying “how predictable”. My first thought of response was “fuck you man, that movie was amazing” and my almost immediate second thought was that I didn’t agree, and even if I did, I didn’t care.

Of course that guy 2 rows back was a pretentious douchebag who had that statement planned and ready to spout probably before the movie even started, but it still got me thinking. I really hate when someone spoils the ending of a movie or tells me everything that happens. Let me figure it out on my own, but does it really matter if a movie is “predictable”? Does the movie completely suck if it goes down the way you thought it would? And really, aren’t all (or at least most) movies pretty predictable? Did you really think that the Titanic wasn’t gonna sink?

I’m a firm believer that it’s the journey and not the destination that makes a movie entertaining. I want to see a movie that has a good story, good characters, and good visuals, and as long as the complete package is satisfying I’m happy. An ending that comes completely out of left field may not be predictable, but it’s also not necessarily satisfying. I saw the indie film Catfish this weekend and all of the marketing (or lack there of) behind it was not showing too much and just promoting how unexpected the events of the third act were. This idea got me so pumped to see it. I couldn’t wait to see it and find out what was going to happen. So I went, and the first 2/3 of the movie were pretty enjoyable and interesting, and it was going down a path of complete uncertainty. But then it got to the reveal, and although I would have never predicted it in a million years, I was beyond disappointed. For me, it just goes to show that different does not automatically mean good.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are sometimes when unpredictable can mean completely awesome for a film. An ending that comes as a complete surprise, but still makes sense, is a rare but amazing thing. The last five minutes of The Mist I would’ve never have guessed, but it went along with the social commentary of the rest of the film and how quick we are to take the “easy way out” and jump to insane conclusions in intense situations, not to mention that it ensured the movie would be talked about years after its release. David Fincher’s Se7en is another prime example of an unpredictable ending in cinema. Not only did most not really expect it to happen (even though they’ll tell you they saw it coming to impress you), it made the movie what it is, the go to guide on how to make an amazing crime drama.

At the end of the day, a good movie is a good movie, regardless if I figured out every little twist and turn before it happened or not. What are your thoughts? Does knowing what’s going to happen in a movie effect how much you enjoy the movie?

Punisher War Journal: The Blog File

Frank thinking he's getting too old for this shit.

So this weekend at the San Diego Comic Con (which I sadly did not attend) Marvel announced that they are yet again going to reboot the Punisher film franchise. This will now be the fourth time an attempt has been made to make a movie based on the violent vigilante. The first time was in 1989 with a Dolph Lundgren, followed by Thomas Jane in 2004, and finally (and unfortunately) in 2008 with Ray Setevenson. All three films were far from box office success stories. The upcoming film will be made directly by Marvel who now has complete creative control over the film version of Frank Castle.

I read this news and was actually kind of intrigued. I’m all for Marvel trying again after the last 3 didn’t work. Keep doing it until you get it right I guess. I only have one question: Why hasn’t a good Punisher movie been made?

It’s not like the character is all that complex. Former soldier turned family man Frank Castle’s wife and kids get killed by the mob and he flips out, taking all of his training and exacting vengeance on the criminal underworld of New York with a skull painted on his shirt, and that’s about it. Yet they still find ways to mess it up.

Dolph Lundgren was completely flat in a cheesy direct to video version. Thomas Jane was a great Punisher, but everyone and everything else around him was weak. The Punisher in Florida? Come on. And Ray Stevenson was barely given any lines in Punisher: War Zone, which felt more like a slasher movie than a comic book/action film.

If Marvel wants to do it right they need to get a leading man who can capture the brooding anger and intensity of the Punisher. This guy is a tortured soul to the nth degree and has the training and tools to turn that torture on his enemies. He’s not a traditional super-hero and the film makers that take on the project should be aware of that and should sample ideas and the tone from movies like Taxi Driver and Man on Fire rather than Spider-Man. The Punisher is killing mobsters and common criminals in back alleys, not super villains on roof tops. Frank Castle is more like Travis Bickle than Peter Parker. Movies like the original Mad Max, Death Wish, and even Gran Torino have way more in common with what a Punisher movie should be like than X-Men, Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk.

In a perfect world, Martin Scorsese or Tony Scott would be directing this new Punisher movie and they would get a credible actor who could approach the character with the mental, physical, and emotional devotion that he deserves. Like I said, I’m intrigued, but something tells me I should prepare for a fourth disappointment.